The Masks We Wear

“You wear a mask for so long, you forget who you were beneath it.”

                                                                                            Alan Moore.

Have you ever put on an act? You know, trying to appear a particular way, hoping people will believe something about you, something that isn’t real, but you want it to be. Or perhaps there’s something about you that you’re not comfortable with and rather than be exposed you cover it over by putting on a ‘face’.

In everyday life we all wear masks. It’s part of the reality of living that we have different masks __ one for parents another for teachers or bosses, one for friends and totally another for subordinates.

There are masks within masks too! Sometimes it’s a smile when we’d rather not...or at times we want to appear knowledgeable when we don’t have a clue...or we want to appear strong when inside of us we’re terrified.

Yes, these are considering a necessity, but what’s important is some conscious awareness for what we’re doing and being able to see the masks we wear that interfere with healthy living.

So, if we weren’t born wearing a mask where does it begin?

It has been a timeless norm that as soon as we begin to grow to our senses the world, our surroundings start to impose expectations upon us. In a world where strength and success are not just admired but worshipped, any divergence from this is completely undesirable.

We then start wearing the mask of deceit to fool ourselves and others that we are not what we appear to be. By putting on this mask we are able to escape an unacceptable identity and any demons in the closet. Rather than accept our frailties and vulnerabilities we prefer to veil them to protect ourselves from the pain of being unwanted as we are.

Once again, Masks are a part of daily life and at times indispensable. But there’s a catch...whenever you choose to screen the truth of who you are behind a mask, you are admitting that who you are is inadequate, incompetent, inferior or defective in some way. The price of doing this often is, of course, in your self-respect.

Whenever you express yourself but are met with rejection or ridicule, you stand at the crossroads of making a choice. You can either decide that the reaction by the other is inaccurate or meaningless or you can agree with them and feel there’s something wrong with you and create a mask of a false front.

Living authentically requires conscious attention. We can begin by seeing the value of dropping our masks. And how with this help?

1. Since a mask covers our fear of being unacceptable, by dropping it we claim our self-respect.
2. Masks block real connection so dropping it you open the way for more intimacy in relationships.
3. You may not have realised but masks keep you stagnant. By letting go of them you can tap into your creativity.
4. And most importantly you set yourself free of the burden of pretence and actually make a move towards a more real and satisfying life.

“Now I become myself

It’s taken time, many years and places

I’ve been dissolved and shaken

Worn other people’s faces

Run madly, as if time were there.”

                            Mary Sarton.