A wise old sage said, ‘Anxiety does not come from thinking about the future, but from wanting to control it.’ How true is that?
This feeling on edge, the gnawed fingernails, being sweat-drenched in worry, it's all a struggle. It certainly is a distorted mental state in which a single missed breath feels like, ‘Oh my God, I'm going to be suffocated’
THAT is anxiety!
More and more of my clients come with issues of excessive and persistent anxiety. For some, even getting through the day is extremely difficult.
As my young client, Sasha says,
‘I feel uneasy, which grows into a feeling of dread at simply anything, be it a presentation or completing tasks, even meeting someone or making the smallest decision. If this stays for long, I start sweating and I feel restless and my heart rate goes up, and it just does not go away.’
Yes, that is what anxiety feels like.
It is like your well-being has been kidnapped or hijacked. And anxiety and fear completely take over, almost like someone is holding a gun to your head. That's how awful it feels. It is one of the most uncomfortable feelings ever.
And during this anxiety, you can walk through the day in a sort of haze, not really attending to the essential stuff of everyday life. You just go through the motions of living rather than really living. And all the while, these life-threatening thoughts just continue.
This condition of anxiety has developed into a prevalent and seriously concerning issue amongst today's generation.
Why do our present lives evoke such nervousness?
Is this a 21st century hangover?
We seem to have gone from predictability and economic confidence in our lives to endless uncertainty. We just have no hold over what's going to happen. We can't predict anything anymore. It's difficult to point out any specific cause, but the effects are more than evident. It is strange, but most of us experience both restlessness and fatigue, both lack of concentration and focus on tension in the muscles.
I find that we are restless for the next big story that we want, and we find ourselves tired of it already when it arrives. I think that we are in the midst of a new epidemic. Depression, angst, panic, stress, whatever you want to call it!
There is a lot going around. It is a reflection of our values. The coronavirus was a symptom, though the real source of this epidemic is what I call stressism. Yes, it's stress we need to look at.
So let's take a closer look. How does it begin?
Anxiety begins with a single worry, and the more you concentrate on it, the more powerful it gets. If you start to believe the hype about the times we live in, then you risk surrendering to the battle before it even begins. You need to let it go and disempower the worry altogether.
Anxiety is a tiny, petty monster, but it's a very tricky one. It can paralyse you over the simplest choice, like should I have this salad dressing or that, as though it is a choice between life and death. If I sound like a doomsday prophet, the intention is to actually understand the times we are living in. If anxiety is the way to understand the fix we are in, perhaps anxiety can show us a way out too!
It certainly makes me ask myself, are we more anxious than the generations before us?
It's a fact that we have not experienced devastating famines, or the Ukraine-like dread of war. No such psychic torment has been experienced by us. Yet there is an aspect of anxiety that we clearly have more of than ever before, and that is self-awareness. The previous generations may have been wracked by nerves, but none fixated like we do on the condition.
In fact, none of them even considered anxiety a condition.
Some researchers say that anxiety is not necessarily increasing, but people are more open about it. They are beginning to talk and discuss and find causes and solutions. You know, anxiety takes many forms, but almost always there is an overwhelming sense of vulnerability and powerlessness.
When I am anxious, I believe the source of worry is outside of me.
I say to myself, if this changes or that happens, I will be okay. It is like the mind goes into a spasm, a grip from which I cannot relax, and cannot accept any good news.
I may even know the cause and where it lies, but I will spend the whole of my life going in the opposite direction. It is avoidance behavior. Facing the fear would be to take its power away, but it would also mean giving up control and being vulnerable.
Yes, and don't we all avoid vulnerability. So it's a double-edged sword.
My point is, though, why should we view anxiety to be a problem that must be resolved? Why not see it as an inevitable part of life that we all experience, and something that is positive can teach us important lessons about our own lives?
I believe that we have this angst because there is no right path or guide to tell us what to do.
In essence, each one of us must make meaning in our own lives. Anxiety raises its undesirable head when this responsibility feels too great, and when we retreat from facing this disturbance. The truth is that we are all free to make new and productive choices, aren't we?
So my suggestion and personal choices are -
- To balance balance and evaluate.
- Plan and move the energy towards some kind of remediation.
- Turn anxiety into action.
Move. Make a list of three small changes like de-cluttering the home, visualizing and making a plan for completing tasks like even a shopping list or keeping an appointment you've not done for a while.
You know, structure reduces tension and is an exercise by itself. It drains the stuck energy of frustration and worry, and most of all, it calms the mind.
So honor yourself and do it.
And as I say and repeat all the time, we all need to remember that awareness is the name of this game of life. Self-awareness is what we owe ourselves, and we can all have it.
It's free. So be kind to yourself. It is worth it!
Cheers!
Until next time….
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