What relationship is more intimate than that between a child and a parent?
They say they love us and we expect them to do so accordingly_ whatever “love” means to us. This love then is laced with expectations; we expect them to love us and they expect us to love them in return. Whether it is based on love or servitude it lasts longer than most marriages.
While it is hard to imagine that any adult consciously screws up a child’s mind, which parent can avoid it? Growing up we all “catch” our parent’s beliefs just like any other social disease_ as an act of love. We absorbed our parent’s belief-systems simply by being with them. Whatever they say becomes a law in our lives. Even if we disagreed with them we rarely question what they believe. They talk and we listen. So we are really at the mercy of our prejudice and ignorance!
Here is etched the strongest and most indelible of impressions _ we are expected to be “perfect” according to their idea of it! And all through our lives we make every effort to be as perfect as we possibly can.
The most heartening thing of all is that no matter how hard we tried, were we ever able to succeed in their eyes? Or later in the eyes of all those we deem as “authorities”?
Inevitably these expectations from ourselves come with feelings of shame and blame. In order to avoid criticism, correction and condemnation we go indifferent to what is “right” about us and fall prey to the belief that “there is something wrong with us” and that whatever we are is not good enough. Naturally this is uncomfortable to face up to so we then start to find ways to do the least and learn to get away with it.
The truth is that unprofitable habits and attitudes stay with us our whole life…in fact they have a sub-conscious life of their own. Unbeknownst to us we think like our parents and act like them too, only with a different flavor.
There is another more powerful truth and that is that we can choose to play another role; we can make a choice for positive, productive and long lasting change anytime we decide to do so. How?
Precision muscle-testing helps you do the easily, gently and effortlessly.
Ritu Malhotra
ritu54@yahoo.co.uk
Follow me on Twitter
@LifeCoachRitu
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