Soon it will be the end of almost a whole year of upheaval, of mending and repair, of transforming the old and obsolete, of ushering conscious change and possibly saying goodbye to a year we would rather forget.
Forgetting the negative is necessary though it’s equally important to focus on the lessons and the gifts in this torn, confused and deeply hurt world.
In search of my own solace and answers I turned to the Japanese art of Sashiko. Sashiko means ‘little stabs’ in Japanese _ patching a garment to repair and extend its life.
In Sashiko the goal is not to hide the tear but to celebrate it by looking at incompleteness and imperfection as beauty....like a patched garment is a source of reflection like in life itself.
The philosophy of Sashiko grabbed my attention....isn’t that what we do in therapy? The focus is not only on taking away the event, emotion or disturbance but to find the value in whatever has occurred. Some call it ‘being in the zone’, where you encounter whatever is happening just as it is, with patience and serenity. Attention is on repair _ improving what has been shoved behind to await the day when there is nothing else to do....and that day never dawns.
Sashiko represents turning away from fastness, speed and impatience. It’s message seems to have us look at our relationship to consumerism and capitalism. A reminder to pause in an otherwise rushing world.
Half the globe is slowing down and a lot of us are re-thinking the speed at which we want to continue living. At midlife, particularly, many of us experience the need to look at the patchwork of our families and our careers...the scars left behind, physically and mentally too are written on us and we find less need or point in hiding them.
In my work as an emotional counsellor I realise how akin this concept is to it. As in Sashiko, I start by listening to my client and then slowly address what is underneath the hurt and pain....never diving directly into the feelings. It’s a process of back and forth, patiently and with regularity until the stability and strength is desirably attained. It’s a process of repair, not to hide the tear or torn edges, but to repair places where life has worn us to near collapse at times and to support these spaces with new and robust feelings and thoughts.
As Japanese philosophy indicates with every ceremony and function they conduct, the total acceptance of what is as is, is most important. If there’s darkness they content themselves with it, if there’s less light they immerse themselves in it until they begin to get comfortable with it.
There is much darkness in the world right now, yet I have come to realise in this imposed lockdown, how I might repair my life and then maybe of a few others that need it....maybe in a more connected and less wasteful way.
Much has been said about the revolutionary changes that will happen because of the pandemic. Maybe we’ll design whole new ways of being and connecting with one another or a post-pandemic utopia.
For the moment, though, I want to hope that what emerges is a patched but stronger world where the frays and tears are visible, yet they add beauty and integrity to us all.
Yes, I do believe that the ‘little stabs’ of Sashiko are part of the process and it strengthens the fabric of our lives! The roller-coaster this pandemic has put us through is an opportunity we’ve got to look within each of us to find ways to learn, celebrate, and move on. Most importantly to find the gift that exists within each hurdle.
Maybe 2020 is the vaccine!!
Wishing everyone a new, easier, healthier, and wiser year ahead!
Cheers!
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