Accepting our Differences

“Sometimes it’s better to be kind than to be right. We do not need an intelligent mind that speaks but a patient heart that listens.”

...…...Gautam Buddha

A student went to his teacher and said, “my meditation is horrible! I feel distracted, I can’t focus, I’m constantly falling asleep.”

“It will pass,” the teacher replied

A week later the student came back and said, “my meditation is wonderful! I feel so aware, so focused and peaceful.”

“It will pass,” the teacher replied again.

We get stuck in the desire to be right and expect things to be perfect. However, things change over time. Being ‘right’ can put us in a scrutinising mode and unconsciously we may be looking for evidence to prove other people wrong, rather than accepting life’s imperfections.

In our effort to over simplify reality we tend to divide everything into right and wrong. We forget that what we are doing is looking through a subjective lens.

We also forget that because we fear being ‘wrong’ we tend to internalise a criticism and believe there’s something wrong with us. We become our mistakes.

Being always right is a mask we wear, it’s anything but authentic. We need to realise that there is no ONE reality.... reality is a by-product of our perception. We all may watch the same event, but we observe different things in the same event.

While we all do a little judging here and there, mostly unconsciously, some do this routinely and in a way that creates feelings of anger, frustration, guilt and even rebelliousness against whomsoever does not fit their box. Some give themselves the right to violate the other person’s right because he or she is different. Still others feel superior because they think that their perception or idea is better than another. Many of us get trapped in this.

So, what is the learning here? A few suggestions that always work...

Openness: We can’t always agree with each other but there is so much to learn when we stay open to listening to them. When we give up the need to be right we begin to communicate at a different level.

Humility: The need to be right is rooted in the ego. So, let’s take a breath and swallow our pride when someone says something we don’t agree with. We don’t have to prove them so.

Kindness: A threatened ego always lashes out and that’s an unkind process and reaction. The ego cares about right and wrong.... the heart simply loves and accepts.

Let’s operate from our hearts.... with kindness!