"That I feed the hungry, forgive an insult and love my enemy....these are great virtues. But what if I should discover that the poorest of the beggars and the most impudent of offenders are all within me, and I stand in need of the alms of my own kindness; that I myself am the enemy who must be loved? What then? "
Carl Jung
The usual reasons would be to avoid an argument, to protect our reputations or at times because it's the best option in a sea of bad choices. Though this still refers to why we lie to others.
Why do we lie to ourselves? What do we gain by deceiving ourselves?
Psychology says, people deceive themselves in an effort to boost self-esteem and feel better. But we lie to ourselves all the time! We tell ourselves that we are better than average, that we are more moral or more capable. We continuously repress painful memories, create false ones, rationalise immoral behaviour and jack up our self-esteem....we deny ourselves the truth!
I personally feel we lie because we fear the consequences. We tell ourselves, "if I tell the truth now, I'll be fired, sued or rejected!" We fear actions imposed by someone on the outside....not because we fear what 'they' will do to us but what this will do to us internally. It's a convenient explanation for why we sidestep honesty, even though we know that being upfront is the best way to go; and more so when we deny the real cause we relieve ourselves from having to do anything, then the responsibility is not ours!
Another interesting aspect of lying is that it becomes US! It's not always that it's easier but it becomes familiar...a tiring, habitual part of us...we seek the comfortable.
Well, comfort is overrated! Why?! Because it makes us believe stuff about ourselves that we'd hate to admit...it hurts the ego!
Examples of this are our everyday life itself : when we seek distraction to get away from hard problems, when we get wrapped up in our public image, when we seek popularity instead of authenticity, or when we settle for a life situation because we think we don't deserve any better.
It takes some amount of self- awareness and discipline to keep self-deception from becoming a hindrance. Over time it can become more damaging since we may not realise that we lie to avoid the deeper reality of our greatness...our own loving nature!Our real nature is the full potential of creativity and expansiveness of an authentic self!
Folks, happiness is an exotic commodity in our world, it is exemplified by true peace of mind, joy that resonates and a sense of self that sparkles with purpose....and all this is alien to our distracted sensibility. The many miles between us and this exotic-ness are cobbled by dishonesty and the fear of responsibility.
If you are reading and thinking this over passively, then it might be entertaining. You may even trick yourself into thinking that reading is productive. Without action, you really just wasted your time by reading this!
So, make some changes. Edit, erase and re-write.
This is the beauty in life: most things are volitional and nothing is permanent....even dying isn't! So stop wasting your time by living a lie!
Cheers!
Until next time....
Well written
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