"I have no special talents, I am only passionately curious."
…………..Einstein.
The self-help industry is over-flowing with advice on passion _ the ingredient necessary for success they say. Some vehemently profess that without passion there is no lasting triumph. Others say there's more.... the necessity of perseverance and pride overshadows passion, and some will say that passion alone is selfish.
That is where marketeers mostly seem to cash in on the passion principle.
But I've been wondering, how important it is to have and live a passionate life?
How much of a role does passion play in a meaningful life? After all that's what most people ultimately seek, not necessarily the passion itself.
Whatever our personal definition of passion, for my own understanding I want to address two kinds of passion__ the obsessive and the harmonious. The obsessive, as is obvious, is defined by an uncontrollable urge; it's as though our sense of self, our esteem, our identity is strongly connected to this passion. Yes, there is pleasure, of course, but there is more suffering and psychological dependence too.
The other, harmonious variety, as the name suggests, is more balanced. By following this kind of passionate interest, we don't necessarily have to be in conflict with other areas of our life like relationships or responsibilities. And more importantly, there is no dependence on it. We could more easily shift or stop the activity if consequences arose that needed us to do so.
Passion does not have to be obsessive. In fact, on the contrary, balanced expressions are ones we take part in, enjoy but they do not define who we are! We experience positivity while engaging in them which makes us better adjusted in other areas of life as well.... opposite to someone who is obsessed by something or someone.
Yet, the passion that's peddled to us is most often the obsessive type, the all-consuming one. I know this kind of passion will sell more books, more movies and entertainment. It's more exciting and sexy and that's hard to compete with! There is also no doubt that passion can give us a strong sense of purpose.
But does a sense of purpose from a passionate activity constitute a meaningful life? We could ask ourselves, "is there anything else I value?"
Just because our psychological needs may be fulfilled by a job it doesn't necessarily mean we are engaged with what we value. Though we may experience purpose, we may not have been living what we consider a meaningful life.
So, maybe instead of desperately searching for something that makes us jump out of bed with excitement, we can shift focus to something different....to our value system.
Let's ask ourselves, "What would I do every day if I had one month to live? What would I look back on? How would I spend my time? What do I really value in my life?"
We don't have to let go of our passion for the violin or for growing orchids altogether, but we realise there are other things in our life that we value as well.... from which we derive meaning.
In other words, if you don't have a single living, breathless passion don't worry about it! Uncover your values. Be true to them. Build a life around them. Examine them. Be passionate about that!!
You will likely experience pleasure, fulfilment and meaning by discovering and honouring your values in all that you do.
Cheers!
Until next time.....
Ritu Malhotra
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