Growing up is optional

Seema waltzes into my door, a young, intelligent 28 year old who struggles with self-doubt, loneliness and says she finds it difficuilt to get along with her male colleagues. She also seems to be unlucky in love and attracts men that she is unable to trust and who betray her.

As we begin to work on her issues we travel back in memory to the age of 5 years. She remembers a time when her brothers and cousins are going to a local fair. They're exictedly getting ready to leave when her mother says she cannot accompany them as it's unsafe for girls. She remembers crying and throwing quite a tantrum but to no avail. Several such incidents came to her memory and she recalls many unkept promises by her parents, mainly to pacify her but she was usually let down and disappointed. To her the message was loud and clear_ boys and girls are unequal.

23 years later, in present time, Seema reacts the same way she did as a child _ with equality issues, unable to trust those in authority and consequently has few healthy relationships.

As unbelievable as it sounds our cells remember every incident that happens to us, and more importantly, how we felt about it too.

Time has reality only to our conscious mind, but neurologically the brain makes no distinction between past and present. Whatever memory the neurons trigger from the past determines how we react in the present. It all happens simultaneously because emotions layer themselves in our memory. To say someone reacts "childishly" misses the point completely.

During sessions forgotten memories forced from the past roll up to possess us again with the same intensity of emotion and the adult becomes the child again, raging at the way we are being treated.

It isn't necessary to force memory from the past_under stress every one of us does an "instant age recession" In seconds, you can see it transform facial expression, body posture, tone of voice and attitude.

If we ask our cells, we all have individual stories that we live with, and the positive part is that cellular memory can change whenever we make the choice to do so. Just as we retrain muscles for new function, we can retrain memory neurons in the brain. The trick is to access the specific layer of cells holding the core memory.

How can we do this? Through Kinesiology and muscle testing! By detaching a  stressful memory from  the core of the cause we can edit, delete and re-program it job description. With stress out of the way, a new positive beneficial image can take its place.

Our future is in no way pre-determined; we can re-define our past by teaching the brain new ways to function. This changes present time perceptions and allows us to behave in an entirely new fashion.

Wouldn't that be a wish fulfilled!

​Ritu Malhotra