Remember Khalil Gibrah:
Your children are not your children
They are the sons and daughters of life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you;
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts:
You may house their bodies but not their souls
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You are the bows from which your children, as living arrows are sent forth
For life goes not backward not tarried with yesterday.
Our children are a reflection of us. They come through us to complete the unfulfilled ambitions and desires that we have left unresolved. They have chosen us for this specific purpose.
Most human behavior is learned behavior. Our children watch us and that is what they really learn. As an example, quite typically we tell our kids, “you must always tell the truth.” Then someone calls that we don’t want to speak to and we tell them to say we’re not home! So the message we are sending is, “Do as I say, not as I do!” It doesn’t work and in fact confuses the child. We think we are teaching one thing and our kids are learning quite another!
Everyone of us has an image of self. What’s expected of us and what we expect of ourselves. We create this image in early childhood based on input from our peers, our parents, teachers and preachers.. and of course genetic blueprint.